Designate 10 minutes each day to give your child your undivided attention (without your phone). This might be easiest to do when your child is done with school and he/she is having a snack, recounting their day, and beginning to play. Don’t just be there – be present.
- Make observational statements that affirm their actions (opposed to judging statements). Example: Say, “I see all of the colors you chose to use on this picture,” instead of, “This is the most beautiful picture I’ve ever seen!”
- Make every effort to affirm their effort in trying new things (opposed to critiquing their performance). Example: Say, “You are working so hard on your cartwheels and it seems to bring you a ton of joy,” instead of, “Try to do the cartwheel again, but this time straighten your legs while they’re in the air.”
- Provide productive and positive reinforcement after their failures. There are certain skills and character traits that can only be achieved through failure, and that is worth celebrating. This will help your child develop intrinsic motivation instead of relying on extrinsic motivation (e.g. rewards, praise of others based on good outcomes). Example: Say, “You fell off your bike 3 times. You made progress today when it was hard, and I’m so proud of you,” instead of, “Once you learn how to ride a bike, we’ll have an ice cream party!”